I’m gonna be honest with you. It’s been hard to post anything over the last few months. I’ve been stuck somewhere between lacking motivation and feeling wildly inappropriate about posting advice on how to style over the knee boots while this country is in its current state. We have so much to catch up on but I’ve felt like any fashion, beauty, or lifestyle post would trivialize the natural disasters, mass shootings, and gross civil injustices that are all too frequent.
At the end of the day, my job is to bring you career focused style and advice with a heavy dose of my personality. That’s my job here. But I’d be lying if I told you that I was comfortable linking to mascara for commission and staying silent about what’s going on which is a huge reason why I’ve been absent. I’ve sat down to write this post once a week over the last 4 months and every single time the body of work I produce is dripping with my views on the current political climate. The overwhelming advice I have received has been to stay away from politics on this blog; God forbid I alienate anyone with my liberal views. But what’s happening right now isn’t just about politics. Civil rights are up for grabs and the difference between right and wrong has somehow become blurred.
I constantly feel like I’m not doing enough. I also constantly feel like I don’t know what to do. I was feeling particularly low a few weeks ago when a reader DMed me to see why I’d fallen off the grid. After a few days of discussion with her, I finally felt prepared to share where I’ve been the last few months. The day the post was scheduled to go live, the shooting in Vegas occurred. I immediately rescheduled the post and since then, I’ve had a hard time deciding when the right time to publish would be. Does getting back into a regularly blogging schedule mean that everything is fine? Far from it. But it’s time you and I talk.
For a really long time, I was really unhappy.
It wasn’t all because of one aspect of life. That would have been too easy. Just fix that piece and everything else will fall into place. Nope, it was everything. It was work. It was my relationship. It was my surroundings. It was some friendships. It was just so unhappy, in general, that making any kind of decision was the only option I felt I had. I was floundering in my own indecisiveness.
For years, I’ve stressed about living my entire life in DC. It’s where I grew up, it’s where I came back to after school, and I worried it would be the only place I’d ever exist if I stayed any longer. I wanted to be happy in DC. Who doesn’t want to eat Le Diplomat burgers, attend Caps games, and shop in Georgetown every weekend? But I felt like I wasn’t living my life.
Five months ago, I quit my job and left DC. And it was the best decision I’ve ever made.
I needed a new adventure. That doesn’t always mean changing your surroundings but for me it did. All of them. DC will always be my home but I have been craving a newness for years. No matter how big and bustling, it’s still the same backyard I grew up in and I’ve been itching for something different for a long time.
So, where have I been? I left Diplomatic Security and took a marketing job in Northern Door County. I’ve reached a point where quality of life is my priority and I’d been neglecting that for years.
People say to live where you vacation. So I did. Not that I give two flying squirrels about what people say but the sentiment is true. Why am I busting my ass in a place I’m not happy in? To make money. Alright, well. Maybe try making money in a place where you’re actually happy or where think you could be happy. If it doesn’t work out? Move. You are not a tree.
But you’re District Sparkle. While I’ve been contemplating a rebrand, I’m not ready to let go just yet. A few weeks ago, someone offered to buy my brand – essentially buying me out for what I’d created from scratch and then continue with how they saw fit. After I took a fast and hard pass on that one, I realized I’m not ready to give up the name. Or the brand. District Sparkle readers are fiercely independent professional women who accept nothing less than what they deserve. They also don’t wear sheer tops or open toed shoes at the office and know the best smoky eye is worn after hours. No matter what I’m doing or where I’m living, that doesn’t change. For now, Sparkle stays.
No, it wasn’t because of the election. But I’d be lying if I said that the political climate didn’t ultimately play a role in this decision. Living in the epicenter of this bullshit took an enormous toll on me. If you live in the DC area, maybe you know the feeling. Maybe you don’t. But it was something I wanted to physically distance myself from. Since I’d been toying with the decision of moving for a few years I thought now was as good a time as ever.
I needed a change. Changing your scenery changes just that – your scenery. Moving isn’t an escape from your problems and it doesn’t fix what truly needs fixing. But because I was brutally honest with myself for 6 months before I made the move, I was able to settle all of those things in my head and relocate knowing that I was doing so for all of the right reasons. For the first time in a really long time I feel like I’m exactly where I should be and most importantly, I’m happy.
No, I did not leave my job to blog full time. But if I did, that would be no one’s business but mine. And my accountant. I advocate doing whatever your little heart desires that 1. makes you happy and 2. will lead you down the path to retire at 60. Godspeed.
Yes, the content will change. Kind of. We’ll still talk office appropriate attire, workplace politics, and beauty secrets but I’m trying my damnedest to work more lifestyle into this blog. You guys are always asking for more and it’s my favorite topic to write about. Fridays are still reserved for Career Corner posts where we’ll be discussing How to Create the Perfect Resume, Curating Desktop Essentials, How to Combat Eye Strain, and (drum roll, please) How to Start a Blog among other things in the next few weeks.
You will settle for what you think you deserve. Whether that’s settling in a relationship, settling for a salary, or settling for a certain level of happiness. DREAM BIG. Fuck that self doubt inside of you that holds you back from your full potential.
So, SO proud of your courage, lady.
Thank you so much.
I’m very proud of you. To make these moves and do what makes you happy, it’s truly an inspiration. Keep doing you. Those who really support you will stand by you, good, bad or indifferent. You’ve got this!
You sharing comments like these are what inspires me. Thank you so much, Peri!
Thank you for remaining you. As someone in their early 30s I love reading your blog because you still post business professional attire. A lot of the other bloggers I follow just dress up to get photos taken so they don’t post much about truly ‘business professional’ clothing. It’s not an easy topic to write about.
Thank YOU, Alicia! Much more to come.
Good for you! This post made me relive my constant itch to move away and start new, but I conceptually like my job field so maybe I’ll reaccess in a few years. It’s rare for a big moves like this, both literally and figuratively, not to make a dramatic difference in perspective and how we make decisions about what makes us happy. Wishing you all the best.
So very true. Thank you, Jessica!
I don’t know you (although I’ve been reading this blog for a few years now) and you don’t know me (I’m not even a frequent commenter), but I admit that I was waiting with bated breath to find out what had been going on. And I was frustrated, that there were months of little content, with the unrealized promise of something big, and frankly, I felt angry. I felt like a jerk about it (there are SO many horrible truly terrifying things happening in our country and world right now, but I was focusing on a blog) but also sad because I missed what District Sparkler had to offer (maybe because I was looking for your analysis, for a safe haven, for a place for discussion with like-minded women, for a distraction). And that, was really unfair. So first, as a loyal reader, I’m sorry for judging. We’re going through this crazy time in our country right now that should be motivating us to be kinder, more thoughtful, and yes, angry when needed, but the object of our anger should not be other strong and engaged women. So please accept my apology.
Now that that is out of the way, CONGRATULATIONS on what sounds like a series of amazing choices for you and you alone. As 30-something women, there are so many expectations of what our lives are supposed to look like at this point and we feed that by putting pressure on ourselves to do what we “should”. As a result, we often lose sight of our values, our priorities, and what ultimately is best for us. Only you know what is best for you and it sounds like you make some really difficult decisions to honor what you knew internally was the right thing for you. Kudos. That is really really really hard. Complacency and fear often makes it hard to take risks or listen to ourselves (often the same thing!), whether in a relationship (been there) or a career choice (been there too), or a decision to do something “crazy” and so many of us continue along some conveyor belt of what’s expected. And so, thank you. Thank you for reminding us, your readers, that the most important thing is to listen to our internal voice and trust ourselves. As confident, independent, professional women, this is exactly the type of thing I’ve come to expect from District Sparkle.
And so, with regard to content, I’ll still look forward to the Career Corner posts, the advice about how to dress stylishly and professionally for my job, and while I’ll miss the DC & government spin (I still work in politics…), I’m excited to learn more from you about life and balancing it all, and prioritizing ourselves.
I really and truly wish you the very best on this exciting new journey!
Thank you so much for this honesty, Sarah. Your anger was my biggest fear in teasing the post on social but ultimately, I’m happy with the timing of this and grateful that you understand exactly where I’m coming from. It’s been disappointing, not engaging my readers over the last few months. Not being that safe place for open discussion among like-minded women that you referred to earlier – that’s been monumentally difficult. This space has been and will always continue to be a place of support for women like you. I’m incredibly thankful that I have the opportunity to be surrounded by so many strong women, like yourself. Thank you for reading, and thank you, again, for sharing.
I relate to this so much. Thank you for articulating feelings that I could not for the life of me, find words for. I am so proud of you and enjoyed reading your update.
Thanks, Ab. It’s taken a long time to find the right words to diplomatically express how I feel. Thank you for following along <3
I’ve been waiting for this post FOREVER. Thank you for your transparency!
I almost included a dedication, specifically to you! Thank you for your patience!
???
Thank you for sharing your strength, your inspiration, your poise. You are an amazing woman and DC has lost a valued treasure. Let’s grab lunch together if you make it back to these parts.
So glad for the update! I’ve been waiting for this post to see what you’ve been up to. And I’m glad that you found happiness as there’s nothing worse than feeling stuck in life, whether it’s relationships or career or all of the above.
Thank you, Kellie! You have no idea how happy I am to finally be on the same page with you guys!
DC is going to miss you. I’m going to miss you, though I haven’t seen you in a long time. But dang woman, what a great post, a great reason, and a great everything. I’m thrilled for you and your next step, and I’m so glad you spoke up about your views. Your readers follow you because you are you, personal beliefs as well as amazing hair. We’re glad to hear from you and we’re glad to follow you along with your new adventure.
Thank you so much, Alison. It’s easy to get swept up in what everyone else is doing and easy to forget that people come to District Sparkle for one particular voice. Thank you for helping to remind me!
I lived my whole live in Chicago, went to grad school, my family was there, I was satisfied but not HAPPY. So I quit my job, sold all my belongings, finally escaped an 8 year long toxic relationship, took a temporary job and rented a room from a stranger and hopped a one way plane to SF…. oh, and I did all this at 34 years old. I was broke and a little scared but I ended up finding my dream job, and now live in a gorgeous (albeit tiny) studio with my pup Izzy, with windows looking out to the Marin Headlands. I tell you all this because reading your story just made me say (out loud, in the office, oops) HELL YES! Good on you for following your gut and your heart and making big changes and thank you for discussing it so freely with all of us. Also, being from the midwest, I can attest to how stunning Door County is and hope you’re enjoying the amazing fall and stunning sunsets. Bravo and congrats on your newest endeavor!
‘Satisfied’ is such a great descriptor in this. I had the job and the apartment and the relationship that you were supposed to have. I was ‘satisfied’ but I figured there had to be more. Thank you so much for sharing your own journey, Jessica! The greatest part of sharing my own trials and successes has been opening the door to learning about yours. Thank you!
Preach child, preach.
Love this post. Love your tenacity and fierce drive. Most of all love you for you and YOU KEEP ON DOIN’ THAT THANG YOU DO [insert musical tune on repeat in head now].
Katelyn
We’ve come a long way from CWOF. Thanks, K <3
Love this post and congratulations. Change is difficult. It’s impressive you realized you were unhappy and you took big steps to resolve it. It takes a lot of gumption!
I live in DC and haven’t blogged (beyond necessary business posts) for weeks. What you said about living here, the current political climate and world events resonated. I can’t fathom writing a sentence about the latest bar/restaurant or what to do this weekend. Uf.
Can’t wait to see where you’re taking this and good luck!
I hear that, sister. There are sometimes when I look to this blog to escape reality and now is not the time for escape. Slowly but surely turning this platform into more than what it has been in the past few years. Thank you for your support!
I’m so proud of you for actually doing it! But I miss you and hope we can catch up soon!
Thanks, Abs. W and I miss you, too!
Proud of you! Be brave, move forward, you are loved!
Thanks, Auntie Laur <3
You go girl! While I’m not a blogger, I can only imagine how hard it was to post this! There are so many hateful people who hide behind their device screen while they write nasty comments on people’s pages; and it has to be stressful to know that could happen to you. So thank you for putting yourself out there! I’ve always enjoyed your blog and look forward to reading more!!
Thanks you so much, Annie. Happy to be back in the swing of things.
Wow – I needed to read this post today. I have lived in D.C. for the last decade and have been struggling with the feelings you capture here for the last six+ months. For as much as I love many parts of D.C., right now it isn’t a healthy place for me to be. That has been a really emotional and difficult realization for me to make. I am also preparing to make a big move. Very happy for you!
I’m so sorry that you’ve been struggling for the last few months but so thankful that it helped you reevaluate and do what’s best for you! Where are you headed?
This is a great post. Brava. I lived in DC, but I’ve been back in NYC for a few and still very much struggling in the world. I work in politics so I can’t ignore it and don’t want to. But it’s a struggle that’s I worry is hurting my mental health. Part of me needs a change but most if me can’t imagine leaving the resistance. This post is giving me food for thought
This was my primary struggle. If I leave State and if I leave DC then I’m failing the resistance and letting them win. To be completely honest with you, a part of me still feels that way. This is where I’m from, I should be able to stay here and fight this. But I had to take care of my physical and mental health first. The next step was to find ways to stay as involved in my new location. And to continue District Sparkle. And to voice my views. They’re small contributions but they’re contributions. I get where you’re at and agree that it should not be ignored. The only piece of advice I would give you at this point is to go talk to someone – someone’s whose job it is to be an unbiased party. It may help you mentally sort, justify, and plan things.
Meaghan: Sounds like a pretty hellish 2017…. I’m so glad you were able to figure out what parts of your life you could fix, and then actually do something about it. I’ve been working 6 blocks from the WH (but not in government, thankfully) for over 20 years, and this is the first administration for whom I don’t get goosebumps when the POTUS motorcade comes by, so I feel ya, sister. Wishing you lots of luck and happiness in your new adventure.
Good for you for doing what you need to do to be happy. This is your one and only life and I commend you for not being passive in pursuing your own happiness and contentment. I have lived in D.C. on and off for the past 16 years (which is such a nutty thing to say). It captured my heart and after a 5 year stint away, I came back knowing this is home. But it is a hard city. An intense city. A pressure cooker where you can pretty much never escape all of the unbelievable happenings in our country and world. A selah from the madness would do anyone good. So good wishes to you for finding your peace and your piece of how you can still contribute to changing our country for the better from your corner of the map. While I found you because I related to your voice as a professional DC woman who happens to love other things as well, I stay with you because your voice is still valuable and relatable. Welcome back!